I wish I could remember where I came across this picture the first time. I saw it somewhere approximately a week ago and over the course of the week it got under my skin. It’s become my theme of the moment, a thought that gets me through the day.
There are things that I can’t change. I can’t change my diagnosis. I can’t change its symptoms or the side effects of its treatments. When I say side effects, I mean all the side effects not just the medical side effects like weight gain. I mean the life side effects too. The results of hours and hours spent in bed: the effects on my grades and my relationships. Hobbies I can no longer really engage in. Experiences I don’t know if/when I’ll ever be able to enjoy again – hikes and so on.
I realized that if I spend all my time wishing things were different, I’d never really be happy. There are a million things that I wish I could change but can’t. Of course, this shift in mindset doesn’t change in a day. So I set the picture on my desktop and phone backgrounds as a constant reminder.
On the flip side, is choosing to just accept these symptoms akin to giving up on fighting them? Maybe railing against the disease’s suppressive effects is a psychological boost that helps my body fight this monstrosity. (see related post)